A Man Among Men
by Beedok
Summary: There was a slight incident during the wedding with the Nannichuan case. Nodoka has decided that when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade, and will now be Ranma's role model how to be a bit more debonair. She's maybe a little too good at it. (Joke ficlet.)


Ranma watched in slow-motion horror as her father knocked the now open case of Nannichuan water from Happosai's hand. The wedding was a disaster, but she hoped against hope that the water would hit one of the male guests. (Or Kodachi...)

Watching it spill, her eyes were barely able to move ahead of the water flying out. Scanning desperately to see who was in the path, she realised with horror who it was.

Her mother.

The cursed water crashed into Nodoka, and time zipped ahead to normal.

Drenched, and now very obviously male, Nodoka's eye twitched. Then he let out a primal scream that caused the various distracted parties battled it out across the teetering dojo to stop and stare.

"Exiting stage left!" Happosai announced, before bounding out through an open hole in the wall.

As the others began to process what happened, Genma turned pale. Realising what he'd done, he took a half step back, preparing to book it himself. That half step saved his life as Nodoka drew the Saotome family blade and swung it to point at Genma's neck... with a new longer reach.

"Husband. I would like an apology," Nodoka stated flatly, wearing an ice cold expression.

"I-I... uh... Let me grab my things! I'll head off for China to bring back your cure immediately!" the balding man stammered, sweating as he stared down at the blade which had just nearly decapitated him.

As Nodoka thought the offer over, a large number of confused guests arrived at the dojo entrance.

"Who's that?" Daisuke whispered to an actually frazzled looking Nabiki. "Does Ranma have an older brother? Or maybe a cousin?"

"Nodoka," she replied, before realising what she'd done and cursing her shock for making her miss out on money.

"Very well, husband. Pack your things, and head off. I would like this matter dealt with sooner, rather than later," Nodoka finally declared, having decided that she was angry enough with him to not really care if he was just trying to run away.

* * *

Nodoka was back to her natural form as she sat quietly in the Tendo guest bedroom, writing down her thoughts. If she was going to be afflicted with this curse for the time being, she supposed she could find a use for it. She barely heard as her son slipped in the room, only realising the redhead was now sitting beside her (still wearing that tattered and male sized suit) when the part time girl cleared her throat.

"Yes, Ranma?"

The small redhead scratched the back of her neck nervously. "I, well... I figured I should apologise too? That water was supposed ta go ta me afterall."

Nodoka smiled gently. "You were obviously just excited by the opportunity to reclaim permanent manhood. It was your father who attempted to steal the wedding gift."

"I, uh, yeah. I guess that's true," Ranma muttered, fidgeting nervously. "So, seein' what it did to ya though... I gotta wonder what I inherited from pops, 'cause I swear ya looked just like I do... uh, normally do."

"I do worry you've inherited quite a few of your father's less... _savoury_ traits. It's for this reason that I have decided I shall make use of my temporary affliction to attempt to be a more honourable masculine role model," Nodoka declared confidently as she held up the notes she'd been writing. "I'm working out a number of essential lessons."

Ranma glanced the list over. She was a bit less than thrilled to see knowledge of poetry and sword fighting were on there, and really hoped her mother wasn't going to try to get Kuno to tutor those ones. Then there were things like 'basic manners' and 'proper grammar' that made Ranma wonder just how low her mother's opinion of Genma was.

"Sheesh, ya really got a lot on this list. Did ya think pops messed up _that_ much?" Ranma asked.

"Well... you did the best you could with him as your role model, Ranma, but your father... he's never been the most cultured man," Nodoka replied.

"Why'd ya marry him then, anyway?"

Nodoka's eyes grew a bit distant as she let herself be reminded of what had happened. "When he was young, my father had the misfortune of upsetting members of the criminal sphere. One day, a few thugs caught up to him, and had beaten him rather fiercely. They were preparing to cut one of his fingers when my father-in-law arrived and fought them off. The two men grew rather close, and eventually agreed to arrange a marriage not long after your father was born," Nodoka explained, sounding defeated as did so. "Unfortunately my own father's first wife died in a car accident and it took some time for him to remarry. As such... well, that is why your father and I are a good 11 years apart in age."

Ranma blinked. The arranged marriage part wasn't a huge surprise, she figured pops had learned that trick somewhere. The age difference though... "Huh, I just thought ya'd aged really well ma. Sorry 'bout that."

* * *

Step one was a better (male) wardrobe. That was why Ranma was being poked and prodded by a tailor to work out his sizes (since his loose Chinese silks had no standardised size markings anywhere, and the rented tuxes he'd used once or twice never seemed to fit right). It was also why Nodoka was currently in male form, cutting a dashing figure in a burgundy dress shirt, slim fitting grey dress pants and vest, and a silver tie. (His blue black hair flowing loosely to only a bit longer than Ranma's own.)

"A gentleman should dress the part. While your Chinese clothes are quite nice, a bit more variety for formal occasions is important," Nodoka explained. "I expect you to dress like this at least twice a week, since you have managed to gain your exemption from your school uniform. I will be dressing this way daily, as an example."

Ranma nodded, not really sure what to say. He did, however, notice something that his mother had not: the slowly growing entourage of young women and high school girls who were following them about, sighing dreamily whenever Nodoka spoke. Ranma knew that his mother looked more or less like an older version of himself in this form, and that he was handsome himself, so he wasn't too surprised. What he hadn't factored in the added appeal of the greater maturity in Nodoka's face and attitude and how many more girls that attracted.

Maybe there was something to these lessons afterall.

* * *

Nodoka was panting, with her Shinai in hand. The redhead across from her hadn't even broken a sweat. On some level she felt that it was improper to continue Ranma's manliness training with them both in female form, but Nodoka did need breaks from her curse at any opportunity.

"I... suppose your... father did not skimp...on sword fighting as much as... feared," Nodoka said, as she caught her breath.

"Yeah... fighting's the one thing he was fond of teaching," Ranma replied, trying to speak a bit more formally (the things she did for her mother...).

"Then, it appears we can move on," Nodoka noted, trying to hide her disappointment.

"I wouldn't mind practicing with you more," Ranma offered. "Without pops around, Akane's only got so much free time for sparring."

When Nodoka lit up Ranma couldn't help but smile. Those lessons Nodoka was giving on reading feminine body language were definitely helping. Not just with Nodoka too. Ranma had been having fewer fights with Akane the past month or so. And Shampoo had gotten less clingy with a bit of reassurance. Ukyo was seeming better balanced too...

Ranma still wasn't quite sure how she felt about her mother encouraging her to try to win all three of them though.

* * *

The compliments lessons were lots of fun. Not just learning more about how to make a girl smile, but watching how Nodoka made various girls flustered was also amusing. Ranma couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of a confused Nabiki announcing that pictures of male Nodoka were now her most requested product.

"Oh, Kasumi dear," Nodoka said as he spotted the eldest Tendo girl carrying a quite improbable looking amount of groceries. "Please, let me help. It would be quite a waste if I did not use my temporary gift of masculine strength to assist a lovely young woman such as yourself when she is in need of aid."

"T-thank you," Kasumi replied, and... was that a blush on her cheeks that Ranma spied?

* * *

Three and half years. 7 zoo escapes. 2 prison escapes. 13 months of hiding out in India after he'd accidentally stolen 15 000 yuan from a Chinese general (well, the accident was stealing _from_ a general, not stealing _in_ general). It had taken its toll on Genma, but at least he now stood in front of the Tendo Dojo fully a man and with a case of nyannichuan water for his wife. (Had Soun made an addition to the home? It looked bigger?)

He just hoped he'd not taken long enough for No-chan to demand he commit seppuku anyway. Steeling himself, he slid the door open and stepped into the home.

"I'm back?" Genma offered, a bit afraid to call out to loudly.

After a moment Kasumi appeared, a young boy of about 2 in her arms. "Hello, and- oh my. Oh my, oh my oh myyy."

"Hello Kasumi, it's good to see you," Genma said with a smile. "Is my wife in? I went by our old home, but apparently it'd been sold. I thought this was the next best place to try."

"Y-yes!" Kasumi replied, taking a firmer hold on the child. Turning, Kasumi called out in a gentle voice, "Dear, your... well, your husband has returned."

Genma heard what sounded like a plate shattering on the floor of the kitchen, the loud noise almost distracting him from wondering why Kasumi would call Nodoka 'dear'.

When his wife appeared from the kitchen, Genma found himself almost fainting. She was dressed in a plaid button up (the sleeves rolled past her elbows), khaki pants, and with her hair pulled back in a quite androgynous style. If it weren't for the length of her hair she would fit Genma's mental picture of what 'lesbian' looked like.

"H-hello Gen-er, husband," Nodoka said, nervously bowing a bit. "It's been a while. Although, not nearly as long as last time."

"Hello. You, er... look different?" Genma offered. "I... I've brought the Nyannichuan."

Nodoka burst into to a giggling fit, to Genma's utter confusion. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but Ranma already went back to the _Nujiezu_ for his wedding, and came back with some to offer me."

"H-his wedding? You let the boy go and married that Chinese girl!? What about poor Akane?" Genma asked.

"They had a lovely western style June wedding, here in town," Kasumi replied. "And her wedding with Ukyo in Kyoto was a beautiful traditional affair."

Genma's eye twitched. "He... the boy married all three of them!?"

Nodoka and Kasumi nodded.

"Th-that... how could you approve, No-chan?"

Nodoka laughed a bit nervously. "Well, after _my_ second wedding, Soun agreed it was only fair to let Ranma try it out."

"Y-your second wedding?" Genma asked, completely overwhelmed.

"It was slightly rushed, and father was a bit upset to see me marry a woman, but my already being a good three months pregnant left him with no clear alternative." Kasumi explained.

At that point Genma did faint. As Nodoka and Kasumi broke out into a laughing fit, the young child in Kasumi's arms remained utterly confused.

"Daddy. Who man?" the boy asked, turning to Nodoka.

"That's a long story dear," Nodoka replied, ruffling her young son's hair.


End file.
